Review
Girl On Game: Justine Joli Reviews Chains of Olympus
June 13, 2008
The guys at DasGamer picked me to become one of their guest reviewers and, while I’m more of a PS2 fan (old school), I agreed to take on duties reviewing handheld games. I’ve never owned a PSP but I have to say I’m into it. For my first review I got God of War: Chains of Olympus. It was kind of difficult for me to get into the game at first. I’m more used to purple dragons, Spyro is my favorite game ever. I got my ass handed to me on a regular basis and I had to refer to a cheat site to get some hints but once I got used to Kratos I really started to get into the game.
I started out the game at the shores of Attica and Kratos obviously wakes and is called on by the gods again. So at the shores of Attica I figured out all the abilities and then I got the Fire Fury attack at the Fallen Stronghold which I really enjoyed. After you beat the boss at the Gates of Attica you get to have his women, which I also thought was actually kind of cool.
In the Depths of Tartarus, which is about a third of the way through the game, I finally figured out that if I can’t kill it with my knives, if I can’t beat it with the Gauntlet of Zeus or beat it with my Sunshield then I’ve got problems. As a sidenote I had a really hard time getting the Gauntlet of Zeus because of the game actually froze. It turns out it was really just dirty and I had to take it out and clean it. Meanwhile it took me two days to try and figure out what the hell was wrong with me.
Back in the Depths of Tartarus I had to refer to my cheat again. The first time around I tried to kill Charon because I didn’t want to have to deal with this boss later. Turns out you kind of have to. You have to go through out the Depths before you get back to the docks of Charon but once you defeat him you get this other great attack which I really enjoyed because you can use it against another boss later in the game.
In the final stages when Kratos has to regain his powers by killing all the innocent souls that Perseophone has taken down into Hades. It was a little creepy on that side, but kind of awesome. On my way up into the Temple of Persephone for the final showdown, I had no problem nailing the Titan to the bottom of her Temple but what I did have a problem was defeating her. I had to refer to the cheat again but after two and a half hours of trying I figured out.
My final verdict? If i were you I would go out and purchase this game immediately. it’s an amazing game from graphics to storyline. I was engrossed in it for about six hours. I would recommend it to anyone. if you haven’t bought it I’d say go out and get it now. See you next time.
Justine Joli is an all-American porn star with a penchant for manga, comics and games. This is her first review for DasGamer.
Buy your copy of Chains of Olympus
Tags: Girl on Game, God of War: Chains of Olympus, Justine Joli, PSP
4 Responses to “Girl On Game: Justine Joli Reviews Chains of Olympus”
This girl with a PSP and a copy of the game would be heavenly. This review is a WIN!
By thisReviewMadeMeStiff on Jun 14, 2008
This is just vulgar! Completely not what I was expecting from that smart and sharp preview trailer you guys put up here before.
It’s clear to me that DasGamer does not comprehend the potential that lay within this concept with Justine. You literally clipped her wings with this one!
Now don’t get me wrong, the combination of beauty and intelligence can give the owner some enormous powers, especially in the game industry! But instead of portraying Justine as an assertive and smart videogame connoisseur, you take a step backwards by objectifying her with a picture from the photo shoot! You also clearly did not give her any pointers on the structure and format of a videogame review. If I would’ve been the editor, I would not have posted that review for Justine’s own sake!
If you want to turn Justine into a popular culture icon, you should focus on her person as a whole (beauty + intelligence = power). As a company, you need to offer her the tools and teach her the skills to achieve this. I’m sure she would gladly do so.
Good luck! As Teddy Roosevelt once said: “There’s no effort without shortcoming.”
By Vlad on Jun 16, 2008
@ Vlad
Glad you liked the preview trailer. Stay tuned for more from Justine.
By sethk on Jun 16, 2008
justine in a forum for video games, finally!!!!!
i’m alllllll over this site now. the comic con clip was dope too!
when do we get more reviews from the ever captivating Joli????
By Cornbread on Jun 22, 2008