News
New This Week: Games Where Your Money Used To Be
September 02, 2008
Spore
Publisher: EA
Developer: Maxis
Mac, PC, DS
On sale: September 7
Fucking A, it’s here. And by “it’s” I mean a merciful end to all the hype. Spore, the game that has been years in the flogging, rolls out this Sunday. Which, taking Spore creator Will Wright’s E3 speech, could very well be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Book of Genesis. In this case the game has a very real chance of living up to both the hype and possible blasphemy. The release also marks the first step in the battle of the “make games.” Round two commences with the release of LittleBigPlanet in October. You can get the jump on unleashing your new race of Korvaxes, Snorks or some Ron Jeremy-inspired race of walking penises by pre-downloading the software. Will Wright will flip the switch and bring it all to life on Sunday. Tiger Woods isn’t the only dude that walks on water around that company.
Pre-order your copy of Spore.
NFL Head Coach 09
Publisher: EA
Developer: EA Tiburon
Xbox 360, PS3
On sale: September 5
Tony Dungy notches his first game cover with Head Coach 09 and collects big on the locker room betting pool on which Colt would snag the first EA cover post Super Bowl. Don’t worry Peyton, you still got NFL Fever 2002. Gamers that count wearing a headset and getting fatter than Andy Reid among their career goals, your game hath arriven.
Order your copy of Head Coach 09
FaceBreaker
Publisher: EA FreeStyle
Developer: EA FreeStyle
Xbox 360, PS3
On sale: September 5
Got a hankering to hit those shitbirds from The Hills or Kim Kardashian in the face? Lucky for you, EA wants you to flat out break’em. The first title from the brand spankin’ new EA Sports FreeStyle label brings arcade style boxing back to your console.
Pre-order your copy of FaceBreaker
World In Conflict: Soviet Assault
Publisher: Activision/Sierra
Developer: Massive Entertainment
Xbox 360
On sale: September 2
Activision takes the real-time strategy to console plunge bringing World In Conflict to the Xbox 360 (the PS3 version is slated for Feb 2009). The official game site cites a release date of September 18th. But if Rock, Paper, Retail Sale Date is a game, Amazon, who is saying the game releases on September 2, is the Jedi Master.
Click here to buy your way into the new cold war
Warhammer: Battle March
Publisher: Namco Bandai
Developer: Black Hole Entertainment
Xbox 360
On sale: Sept 2
If you’re not into modern military when it comes to your real time strategy, Namco is offering up the second staple of RTS, orcs n’ goblins n’ shit. I’ve got absolutely zero information on Battle Hammer but I am still of the school of thought that RTS just doesn’t work on consoles.
Click here to buy your copy of Warhammer: Battle March
Rapala Fishing Frenzy 2009
Publisher: Activision
Developer: Fun Labs
Xbox 360, PS3, Wii
Didn’t rip enough lips in 2008? Well fire up those twin Mercuries and tear off across the best fishing holes of North America in your custom Skeeter. Keep all your bait comfortable in the live wells, right up to the point you ram a stainless steel hook through their eyes.
Click here to start kicking bass
Viva Pinata 2: Trouble in Paradise
Publisher: Microsoft Games Studios
Developer: Rare Ltd.
Xbox 360
On sale: September 2
“Would you say we have a plethora of pinatas, El Guapo?” The answer, in this case, is an emphatic “Si.” Start breaking papier mache critters like a diabetic going for a life saving insulin pack come Tuesday. If that’s your thing.
Click here to start bashing some pinata
